Malling With Kids: How To Manage Kids' Tantrums in a Mall

Olivia Barredo
November 25, 2022


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You'll be crossing your fingers that you can get your toddler around town without him throwing a fit if you're planning a trip to the store with him. But in busy stores and long lineups, that's easier said than done. It's difficult to stop children from screaming once they start to become bored, anxious, weary, or uncomfortable. Here are five quick, free ways to keep your child happy and peaceful while you shop, though.

 

Temper Tantrums: Why Do Kids Have Tantrums and Meltdowns?

 

ADHD

 

More than 75% of kids with significant temper outbursts in a recent study by Amy Roy, PhD, of Fordham University, also met the criteria for ADHD. That doesn't necessarily imply they have ADHD; in fact, in children with a history of aggression, the disorder may go undiagnosed.

 

Anxiety

 

Another significant factor is anxiety. Children may respond to anxiety-provoking situations and have tantrums even if they don't have a full-blown anxiety disorder. When faced with a painful or uncomfortable situation, children with undiagnosed learning disabilities, those who have experienced trauma, or those who have been neglected may respond in this way.

 

 

Learning Problems

 

If your child frequently misbehaves in class or when doing homework, he may be suffering from an unidentified learning issue. Let's say that he struggles greatly with math and that this causes him to become highly agitated and upset. To create a distraction from his genuine problems, he can tear up a project or start something with a different child instead of asking for help.

 

Irritability

 

In a small percentage of children who throw severe and frequent temper tantrums, depression and irritability also arise. Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, or DMDD, is a novel diagnosis that refers to children who experience significant outbursts interspersed with periods of chronic severe agitation. According to Dr. Lopes, "very irritable children are like water at 90 degrees—always on the verge of boiling." These children's parents "walk on eggshells all the time because they react to extremely subtle things, like the smallest thing not going their way."

 

Autism

 

Dramatic meltdowns are another frequent occurrence in children on the autism spectrum. Because they depend on a consistent routine for emotional stability, these kids have a tendency to be rigid, and any sudden change can frighten them. Additionally, they might not be able to communicate their needs or wants through language.

 

Sensory Processing Issues

 

Children with sensory processing issues, which are common in autistic children and teens as well as many people with ADHD, may become overwhelmed by stimulation and have uncontrollable meltdowns.

 

 

5 Tips for Avoiding Toddler Tantrums in Public Spaces

 

Involve Your Child In Your Activities

 

Make the excursion significant for your child. Ask him to get something off a shop shelf for you, or let him pick the color of something minor like a toothbrush or notebook. If he isn't too busy playing peek-a-boo with you around the carriage, ask him to hold anything (unbreakable) for you at the checkout. Lift him up if you can so he can see the things on the counter. Even if it would be uncomfortable to pay him attention at those times, a tantrum would be worse. Plus, his happiness is also your satisfaction. 

 

Handle Aggressive Behavior As Soon As It Starts

 

During a tantrum, does your child act violently—hitting, kicking, biting, or hurling things? Stop them right away and get them out of there. Make it clear that while hurting others or themselves is unacceptable, hurting others is OK. Or, "Your block tower toppled down and you're mad. That's OK. But it's not OK to hurl your blocks." Or, "It's OK to be angry with me, but it's not OK to hit. I will not let you strike me." 

 

Don’t Give In To The Tantrums

 

Don't let your child's brief breakdown cause you to feel guilty or out of control. Although hearing a toddler say "I hate you" can be upsetting, it's crucial to understand that your child's behaviors are more a manifestation of their own dissatisfaction than they are a direct attack on you. Tantrums end and your child will quickly forget about them all. And make sure you don't hang on to it.

 

 

Refrain From Yelling

 

Keep in mind that when it comes to controlling their rage, your child will follow your example. They will eventually yell in response to your yelling because they secretly want to interact and connect with you. In the middle of pandemonium, staying calm may be facilitated by concentrating on the fact that they are frustrated or depressed. 

 

It happens to the best of us, but if you do raise your voice, say, "I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm sorry. That is not how I want to talk to you. Can we start over?" In other words, act in the manner in which you want your toddler to act, which includes making mistakes and accepting responsibility for them. Nobody is flawless.

 

Stay Calm

 

Don't lecture, threaten, or argue with your child while they are in the middle of a tantrum. The tantrum will only become worse if you do this. Talk to your child about their previous behavior later, when they are quiet and composed.

 

Understanding tantrums is the first step in managing them. Since tantrums and meltdowns can be caused by a variety of various emotions, including fear, frustration, wrath, and sensory overload, to mention a few, it is not always as simple as it sounds. A tantrum isn't a particularly effective way to communicate, even though it may be a strong means to attract attention, thus parents are frequently unaware of the motivation behind the behavior. 

 

 

It's helpful to conceive of a tantrum as a response to a circumstance that a child is unable to manage maturely, such as by expressing how he feels, making a case for what he wants, or simply doing what is requested.