No relationship or marriage is perfect. There can be a lot of problems and challenges along the way. But what if your partner has committed infidelity in your marriage? How do you move forward from this?
It is very normal to know why they cheated, but most of the time there is no concrete answer to why they cheated. No matter what the cause, you will still end up hurt and might need time to sort these feelings after. Here are 10 tips on how you can cope with the aftermath of a cheating incident in your relationship.
Accept Your Feelings
After the affair, you will feel a lot of different feelings: shock, fear, pain, depression and confusion — and all of them are normal. It will take time for you to go beyond the pain of experiencing infidelity in your marriage. But allow yourself to feel the way you feel, as it is completely natural to feel those many emotions. Your marriage has been hurt, and it is normal for you to grieve the relationship you’ve once had and accept all those feelings you’re feeling.
Do Not Retaliate
Feeling betrayed and cheated on may include anger against your partner. Sometimes, when we are angry and hurt, the first instinct you may have is to get even with your partner. It’s tempting to punish him by destroying his image to friends and family, or even committing an affair yourself to settle the score: none of these will ease the pain. Revenge will not allow you to heal from it.
Take Care of Yourself
Apart from the roller coaster of emotions, you’ll feel you may feel physically drained as well. Once things have passed, also remember to take care of yourself! Take walks, try your best eating healthy food and drink plenty of water. Your well-being is very important.
Avoid the Blaming
It may feel right to blame your partner or the third party involved after the incident, but keep in mind that this won’t change anything and it will just waste your time and energy. Also, do not blame yourself for what happened. It will only make you feel more pain and bad about yourself.
Do Not Involve Your Children
While the infidelity in your marriage may have affected the whole family, always keep in mind to keep this between you and your partner and keep your children out of it! Even if you’ve ended things, do not over share the details of the affair with your kids; it will traumatize them and make them feel stuck in the middle.
Seek Marriage Counseling
While this is a personal problem between you and your partner, it is also important to cope by seeking marriage counseling. Before deciding to end your marriage, it is important to talk to a couple counselor who will be neutral and help you gain understanding and insight into what happened. While it does not guarantee to help you mend your marriage, it will help you communicate better and process what you are feeling after the affair.
Get and Think Practical
Get real and be practical. Sometimes, the affair may lead to the end of your marriage no matter how many sessions or counselors you seek. Think practical: think of what will be the arrangement you’ll have, especially if there are kids involved.
Take it One Day at a Time
Experiencing infidelity in marriage is one of the greatest challenges married life can face, but this does not mean it’s the end of everything. Take it one day at a time and eventually, you can heal from the wounds.
Find Support
You don’t have to do this alone. Reconnect with your friends and family and find support to help you feel less alone while you are trying to cope with the aftermath of an unfaithful relationship.
Forgive When You’re Only Ready
Last but not the least, you do not have to force things just so you can mend a broken marriage. You will never forget an affair, but the pain will fade overtime. Forgive your partner to move past the pain only if you are ready. This is a very important step for you to let go of those feelings and move forward in life, with or without them.
An unfaithful partner is something that is hard to move forward from, but you can still heal from it— with or without them.
You got this, mommies!
sources: verywellmind.com, rd.com, freepik.com
