Joanna Marie O. Santos
September 6, 2023

Parenting can be a pretty daunting task for many, especially for first-time moms who are traversing the emotional, beautiful, sometimes messy but always educational journey of motherhood. Of course, mothers only want what is best for their children, but sometimes it can translate to overprotective parenting in an effort to prevent anything bad from happening to them. While this approach can help relieve a mother’s stress and worries as a parent, it can also cause the children to lack independence and accountability. 

Judy Ann’s Parenting Trick To Raise Independent, Responsible Kids

A solution to this is to teach important life values at a young age, shares actor, chef, and mother of three Judy Ann Santos in an interview with Inquirer.net. Real-life skills should also be taught in order for children to understand how the world works and to allow them to have the regency of taking responsibility and understanding the consequences of their actions and personal decisions.

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“Aside from teaching our children how to cook at a young age, I taught our daughter Yohan how to commute. She’s already in college and should know how to get home so that wherever she goes, hindi s’ya mangmang. This is how things are in the real world.” she said in the interview. 

Imparting the values of independence and accountability are truly irreplaceable skills that mothers should teach their children. Judy Ann’s parenting philosophy is truly helpful in preparing our children for the challenges of the real world. With these life values, mothers can be sure that their children can take care of themselves and lead a good, responsible life even without the constant supervision of their parents. 

Finding The Perfect Balance Of Parenting And Friendship

Traditional parenting in the Philippine context can be complex to describe, but many who grew up in a Filipino family are familiar with the autocratic parenting approach that is so very common in our households. Authoritarian parenting wherein the parents get to have full control over their children with little to no regard for their opinions is a common parenting style that thankfully is slowly becoming less and less attractive to a new generation of parents. Nowadays, being a parent to run to for security is just as important as being the parent that children approach for comfort and friendship. 

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Finding the perfect balance between parenting and preserving a friendship with children is not an easy task. However, there are multiple tried and tested ways that parents can incorporate into their parenting approach in order to raise independent kids without emotionally pushing them too far. Below are a few parenting tricks that mothers can embrace in order to raise confident and responsible children with autonomy.

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Acknowledge Their Emotions

A common mistake parents make is labeling strong emotions as bad emotions. Anger, sadness, and fear are often emotions that are shamed when children express them, and it is important to be aware of just how damaging it can be to force children, especially young kids, to restrain these emotions instead of releasing them. To raise independent children, parents should allow them the freedom to achieve emotional maturity and teach them to accept all emotions that they have so that they can learn how to manage them earlier instead of growing up as adults who do not know how to handle their feelings.

Listen To Their Opinions

To teach children how to develop their own opinions in school or in other group settings, it should first be honed inside the home. Listening to your children's opinions and allowing them to express where they stand on issues, even small, arguably irrelevant ones, can help them enhance their problem-solving skills, critical thinking skills, and empathy which can be beneficial in the relationship that they will enter in the future.

Don’t Be Too Comfortable Saying “No”

“Mother knows best.” A popular statement that can be true on so many levels, this statement can also be damaging to a child’s independence and sense of self if pushed too far. While it is true that parents have the knowledge and experience that they can impart to their children, a child’s world can be small and limited to that of adults. Because of this, parents should acknowledge what their child can understand at the moment, and practice awareness and empathy when it comes to disagreements. 

The Importance Of Responsible Motherhood 

Being a parent is certainly not easy, but being a mother is a different experience on its own. As parents, mothers should take it to themselves that their children grow up to be responsible, independent adults who are capable of standing on their own in the real world. But as mothers, nurturing and being a person of comfort should also be important. Treating children with respect is a necessary parenting skill that not every parent can learn. However, with the right mindset, mothers can raise their independent children who can grow up to be responsible members of society.