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July 25, 2023

If you're an avid fan of Filipino celebrities and influencers, odds are, you will know Zeinab Harake.

 

Harake is a widely known Youtuber and content creator who has managed to amass more than 13.5 million subscribers on Youtube, over 12 million Facebook followers, more than 5 million on Instagram, and an impressive 15M on Tiktok. 

 

The rapid ascent of Zeinab as a mega-influencer can be primarily attributed to her authenticity. It is this sincere trait, where she remains true to herself and fearlessly exposes her vulnerabilities, that has garnered her millions of followers across diverse social media platforms.

 

Image from GMA Network

 

Recently, Harake and her partner, Basketball player Bobby Ray Parks, made rounds on the internet when they celebrated the birthday of the former's son. 

 

In an Instagram post, Bobby Ray Parks penned a short message to Harake's son, Lucas. The message read “Happy birthday to my young king @lucas.harake. You are such a blessing, and I’m truly proud of you." 

 

The two then had an exchange in the comment section when Lucas responded to the post. Strikingly, what captured the attention of many was when Ray Parks called the boy, "my son." 

 

Image from Bobby Ray Parks (IG)

 

This then has continued to spark conversations in the community - especially as Zeinab is an adoptive mother herself. Many applaud the couple for their dedication and commitment to raising their kids while others ask when it would be most appropriate for someone - regardless of who they are - to introduce a new partner to their children; this is in response the fact that Zeinab was in a relationship with rapper, Skusta Clee. 

 

In this article, we'll be shedding light on when it would be most appropriate and how would you introduce a new partner to your young child. 

 

When Will Kids Be Ready? 

Research has shown that allowing your children to be emotionally ready greatly enhances the prospects of success in your new relationship. When children are not prepared for the changes, they might unintentionally disrupt the relationship or reject your new partner (or even you). Feelings of jealousy or insecurity due to the attention you devote to your new love interest could lead them to act out or become withdrawn and despondent.

 

As a part of developing parenting plans for divorcing parents, I frequently recommend waiting until the new relationship has become a committed, lasting bond of at least 9-12 months after the divorce is finalized. I understand that some parents may initially resist this suggestion. However, this waiting period is crucial as it allows everyone involved to adapt to the new parenting schedule and provides children with the necessary time to process the loss of their previous family dynamic. Additionally, by giving ample time before introducing a new partner, you lessen the impact of any potential breakup, sparing your children from experiencing yet another painful loss, particularly if they have grown attached to your new companion.

 

 

It is important to consider that many dating relationships end before the 9-12 months mark. By introducing your children to a new partner too early in the process, you inadvertently expose them to the possibility of repeated losses. This accumulation of losses can have long-term effects on their mental well-being, future relationships, and your relationship with them. Therefore, exercising patience and prioritizing your children's emotional readiness is crucial for fostering a healthy and stable environment during the post-divorce period.

 

What to Consider When Introducing Your New Partner to Your Kids

 

The timing of introducing a new partner after divorce significantly influences healthy family adjustment. Children require sufficient time, sometimes a year or even longer, to process the emotions of anger and sadness that arise from their parents' separation. Introducing a casual dating partner to the children can further complicate their adjustment during this critical period.

 

Remember that your children might view your new love interest as a competitor, and their feelings may not align with your own positive emotions. It is crucial to consider your children's need for security and reassurance. Prematurely introducing a new partner can add stress to the household and hinder your children's ability to grieve the loss of their intact family. It's essential to reassure your kids that there is an abundance of love for everyone.

 

Evaluate whether your love interest is genuinely compatible with your family. While you may have great chemistry, not everyone is best suited to become part of your family dynamic.

 

 

When planning to introduce your new partner to your children, seek their feedback and ideas about the meeting. If you've been dating someone and feel committed to the relationship, communicate openly with your children and discuss your intentions. Keep the initial meeting short and in a neutral setting, like a restaurant.

 

Be cautious about having sleepovers with your partner when your children are living with you. Overnight stays should only be considered when you are confident that your relationship is stable or heading towards engagement. It's best to avoid sleepovers right away to prevent rivalry and potential discomfort for your children.

 

Reassure your children that your new partner will not replace their other parent or change your relationship with them. Understand that some children might initially reject your new partner, expressing anger or defiance. Be realistic about your expectations and give your children time to adjust. Their acceptance may not mirror your own enthusiasm for the new relationship.

 

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Zeinab Harake and Bobby Ray Parks are examples of what it looks like choosing love above anything and everything else. This is one thing that many tend to overlook - especially after a relationship that went down south. Always remember that, as parents, we also have a responsibility to our children. 

 

 

We need to assure our children that they have an abundance of love to go around, that they are safe, and that, no matter what happens, they will always have you in their corner.